Son of a Pitch Round Two is In SESSION!

Here we are, in the week of madness! Below I will update links to all the entries as the day goes by. Don't forget; you can comment ONLY on your own entry, and yes, you can post updated queries etc in the comments based on your feedback.

Good luck everyone!

My Blog:

Counting Perfect

Derek Hyde Knows Spooky When He Sees It

Dream a Little Dream of Me

Reruns of My Life

Fountains, Wishes, and Dead Things

White Soul

Stars in a Bucket

Liked
Ultramarinus

Jinxx Relinkerys is a Liar and a Thief

Elizabeth:

Entry 1: Accounting for it All

Entry 2: Biting Secrets

Entry 3: Hunting Legends

Entry 4: Fearless

Entry 5: Infinity Line

Entry 6: Let the Canyons Weep

Entry 7: Gracey

Entry 8: Nightmare Beauty

Entry 9: Death of a Bachelor

Entry 10: Power Surge
Entry 11: Mixey

Kathleen:
Two Tails of Amaya
The manhattan Swindle
Hanging
Scrapetown
Hazelwood
Homegrown
When the Past Knocks
Salvation
Tales of the Rasha La
Rules of the Dragos

Rena:

From Smokeless Fire

Senestre

Unbroken

Flesh and Ink

Immunity Hunter

Odriels Heirs

Girl in Mans Armor

Silver Gate

Elise and Seer

Magic Within

Samantha:
One Forward Remorse
The Camp
Conduit
Fear Factory
Savage
Damaged Goods
Recycled
Robot Dreams
Merged
Long Lost

I Totally Found My Kiya Query Letter!

Crazy town! So I was looking through my old stuff and found the query letter for Kiya: Hope of the Pharaoh, so I thought I'd share this contract winning query with you all here!

To save her younger sisters from being taken to the cruel life of the palace, Naomi intervenes and gives herself to be a wife of the erratic Pharaoh. She is the oldest daughter of the direct line of Israel, and as her father's favorite child, she is well-educated and knows she is the closest thing her people have to a princess.
 In the palace, Naomi finds herself thrust into the intrigues of the royal family. She is savvy and bright, so the Great Queen Nefertiti perceives Naomi to be her greatest threat. But Naomi refuses to submit to Nefertiti’s physical and emotional abuse. Naomi becomes beloved by the Pharaoh, who declares that she will bear him his heir. Nefertiti, furious with jealousy, schemes to destroy Naomi and even brings her fidelity into question, which could cost Naomi her very life.
 Naomi must play the deadly game carefully. She is in a silent battle of wills, and a struggle for who will one day inherit the crown. And when she does bear an heir, she must fight to protect him as well as herself from Nefertiti who is out for blood.
 Based on actual people of the late eighteenth Egyptian Dynasty, KIYA: HOPE OF THE PHARAOH is a New Adult Historical Romance running at 87,000 words.

 If you didn't know, Kiya has now reached best selling status on Amazon several times, and holds good ranks even now. It will turn three on April 30, and has sold more than 50,000 copies, just for the first book alone. I hope this query gives anyone out there a glimpse of how to get a contract and how to earn your dreams and road to publication.

Blaze Feature End and Submission Details

Thanks to those who dropped by to support the Blaze feature this week.Below I've included details for subbing to Blaze. I love supporting indie publishers because they bring out rich, unique, and a wide range of books that break from the mainstream and dare to be different.

Don't forget to swing by for the big announcement next week!

Observations from a #QueryKombat Judge and an Acquisitions Editor

I see a ton of queries. It's the first thing I read with every submission that hits my inbox. With Query Kombat, it was the first thing I read. What I've noticed from this is one thing:
People in general know how to write a strong query.
Writers have so many resources now that writing a good query is getting easier and easier. With critiques on blogs, in comps, from other writers, refining a query letter is almost as easy as 1,2,3. The queries I see most of the time have the rules down; a hook, the meat of the story, and the stakes. I think once these are clear, your query is ready to go, and I also think a query can be over critiqued, so be careful of that.
Good job to all the writers out there!

Now for the first page/250 words.
This is another thing entirely. This portion of the manuscript, for me, is what sells the story. In this brief glimpse of what's to come, I can see the style of the writer, the voice, and the world building. A first page that introduces me to the main character right away and lays down piece by piece the foundations of the world is more likely to pull me in to read more. If there is info dumping, passive voice (a little is fine because, let's be honest, passive voice is a beast) and telling in that brief glimpse, it tells me the rest of the manuscript will be riddled with them.
Allow me to use an analogy. Think of it like this: You are building a house. You start off with a blue print to show what the home will eventually look like. This blue print is your query. You place your blue print down to provoke interest and to show what this home is going to look like.
Now, the foundations for the house need to be laid. A foundation of a house is usually dug out, concrete poured, etc so the house has something stable to rest on. Houses with poor foundations crumble or don't last too long, right? But no one can see the foundation in the long run, even though it is essential to the house's structure and integrity. Your first page/250 words is the foundation of the manuscript. It's the first thing to be "laid out" and is needs to be strong, clear, and precise. The basics of the world need to be set out without anything fancy like use of unknown terms for the reader, and the main character needs to be established. In the long run, this opening becomes forgotten in the plot and character interactions, but without it being there, holding the story firmly grounded in the readers mind, the rest of the plot falls apart and the reader struggles to make sense of it, so ultimately sets it aside.
So make the foundation of your novel strong. Refine that first glimpse of your manuscript and follow that refining throughout the book. Give your reader something to love and want to curl up inside and know they are safe and cozy.

Good luck to you all xxx
Katie

 photo credit: blavandmaster via photopin cc

Why You Don't Necessarily Need An Agent

I know what you're thinking "Sour Grapes, much?" Well, maybe it is. But let me lay down my reasoning here.

Almost two years ago, I set about querying my novel. I entered comps left right and center, as well as cold querying. I received partial and full requests all over the place, and all came back with the standard answer, "I love your concept, but I just couldn't connect." Couldn't connect? What did that even mean?
So I analyzed the heck out of my manuscript, trying to figure out how on earth I could make my novel more "connectable." Sound familiar?
Finally, a small press called for New Adult subs. I researched this press and, finding it legit (because yes, there are plenty of small presses that crash and burn or rip off their authors, so be careful!) I subbed to them. Meanwhile, the agents continued to give me the run around, while I sent my MS to new readers asking how I can make it more "connectable." Ironically, my readers said, "I have no idea what you mean. Your MC's voice is so strong, and her motives so clear. I completely empathize with her."
That didn't help me feel better when agents kept tell me the opposite.
So I continued smacking my head against a brick wall, trying to please the unpleasable.
Then, the small press sent me an AMAZING offer. Great deal, great royalty rate, very open and honest policy. Loved it right off the bat. So, I took it.
Since then, my writing has grown and developed significantly through not only my hard work, but because of the editor I had the privilege of working with to help me improve my writing. I also met amazing and supportive people to critique and Beta for me, thus also improving my writing skills. Signing with a small press changed me for the better.
My book sits comfortably on bestseller lists, and has reached a ranking of #30 of ALL Amazon books. I have steady sales, spiking during sales, which makes sense. The subsequent trilogy is doing very well as well. I even consider the fierce negative reviews a sign of my book's success. People will only hate something if they notice it in the first place! Not that I enjoy being bashed, but that's another issue entirely.
I also have another book out with a different publishing house, and my first publisher has more books of mine contracted for release later this year.
Now, silly me had it in my head that this success and having an established fan base would be a strong draw card while querying agents. Well, as I said, silly me. They just came up with different excuses, and excuses that completely contradicted one another, spinning me into complete and utter confusion. How am I supposed to improve if agent A says they love X, but Y needs work, but Agent B says they love Y, and X needs work? What the devil?
Finding myself in a conundrum and trying to do everything I could to make my work as strong as possible, I turned to my writer friends. During these discussions, something dawned on me; agents have no idea what they actually want.
There, I said it.
It also dawned on me that ebooks and quality small presses are taking over the world. Now, my publisher is a quality small press. This is evident by the increasing rate of agents subbing to them. Hear that? Agents subbing to a Small Press. And they love me. They LOVE me! I wrote a popular trilogy for them, and work my butt off to keep it selling. I keep open and honest relations with them, so they don't ever feel like I'm doing something sneaky, so they trust me. They have lined up all kinds of promotional stuff for me, and even managed an Audible deal for the entire trilogy.
The best part? I don't have to share my royalties with someone else, aka, an agent.
Now I know the Big Five is the ultimate dream, but the publishing world is changing. Agents are rapidly becoming redundant because the indie market is booming. Why do you think agents get funny about simultaneously subbing to small presses? Because they can't compete with it. The press will offer you something like a 35% rate, whereas with an agent, you will end up with a 15% rate after they take their cut. Yup, the math says it all.
So, if you've been querying since forever, think small press. Reputable small press. Because you don't necessarily need an agent. You just need a great idea, passion, and hard work.

The Princess of Tyrone

Query:

Apolline is happy hunting magical creatures on her pirate infested outer-perimeter planet. She is a fantastic shot, and doesn’t flinch at the blood and guts of her kills. Never once did she consider she could be the missing Princess of Tyrone.

All her life, she has heard the story of the Princess, cursed to sleep for eternity, unless her betrothed, the Prince of Oran, gave her true love’s kiss. Although Apolline knows she is betrothed, she thinks her fairy guardians arranged it out of ignorance of human ways. The thought she could be a princess is inconceivable.

Then Allard appears. Handsome, charming—But he’s not hers to have. He’s betrothed, too. Her guardians warn her against her new found friendship, but she and Allard meet in secret anyway. Despite her rough exterior, he sees beyond her gun-slinging bravado, and their love blossoms.

But the deadline for the sleeping curse is approaching. If Apolline falls in love with the wrong person, she could end up sleeping forever. 
The Princess of Tyrone is a Sci Fi Fantasy mash up at 71,000 words, that tells the Grimm fairytale of Sleeping Beauty in a futuristic and lighthearted manner.  

First 250:

Waiting, watching, I lay under the scrub. With the crossbow held firmly, I set the trigger. My tongue ran over the blade of my dagger, clenched between my teeth, ready to slit the deer-like yuckah's throat if I didn't hit it right on target.

A young stag stepped into my line of vision. He sniffed the air and lowered his head to graze on the wiry grass. Resting my finger over the trigger, I flicked, making the arrow release. The yuckah grunted and fell to the ground, bucking for a moment, before it fell limp.

"Perfect." My dagger fell into my hand. Standing, I brushed off the dirt and leaves from my cotton shirt as I headed over.

The buck released his dying breath as I bent over him. I rested my hand on his side, feeling the soft fur tingling with magic. "Thanks, buddy."

I wrapped a rope around his hind legs and slit his throat to bleed him. Tossing the rope over a branch, I pulled until he hung upside down. I rested a bowl under him to catch the blood now oozing from the slit in his throat.

I set up traps to ward of scavengers, then headed back to my kill from earlier. I poured the blood from the doe into a jar and brought out my magic cart from the bushes. The wood creaked as it slowly expanded to make enough room to carry both yuckah.

I dumped the doe in, setting the jar of blood beside her, and pulled my cart through the woods back to the stag.

Query Critique - Crossing Lau Dai La by Hong Tran

Here is this week's query critique. A big thank you to Hong Tran for sending this through for me to look at. Again, leave comments and suggests for her to help out!


I’m seeking representation for CROSSING LAU DAI LA, a MG fantasy that blends Vietnamese folklore and Western mythical creatures. 

So this should be at the end. You need your hook to be first. I would also cut "I'm seeking representation for" and say, "CROSSING LAU DAI LA is a MG...." But looking down, you seem to have information in your last paragraph, I'd blend it together there.

Eleven-year-old Linh Briggston loves Vietnamese fairy tales. She even daydreams about them that she almost never listens to her mother.

So, these two sentences would be a stronger hook as one. Try something like this: Eleven-year-old Linh Briggston daydreams about Vietnamese fairy tales so much that she  rarely listens her mother. You could make it stronger in your own words. And drop the almost never, for rarely as almost never is weak.

 Linh’s dreams come true when a winged horse whisks her away from Ireland to the parallel world of Lau Dai La. 

Okay, this should be your hook. This is what makes your story unique and interesting. You should find a way to incorporate this into your first sentence.

There, she meets the power-hungry Kerai who have destroyed that land with their dark magic.

When the Kerai learn that Linh is a human, they capture her and force her to retrieve a crossbow that will allow them to bridge their land to Earth. Linh refuses until they deliver her an ultimatum: locate the weapon or her mother will die. During her imprisonment, Linh encounters a fairy named Tombo who promises that he can help locate the crossbow if she takes him back to Earth. 

But he’s one magical creature whose friendship doesn’t come easy. 

This sentence feels a bit sloppy. Maybe just "But Tombo's friendship doesn't come easily." We know he's magical because he's a fairy :-)

Linh must work with him to find the crossbow for the Kerai and save her mother before it’s too late. (Cut)

Complete at 44,000 words, CROSSING LAU DAI LA will appeal to fans of Rick Riordan’s PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS series and Grace Lin's WHERE THE MOUNTAIN MEETS THE MOON. The complete novel stands alone, but has series potential. 

As I said said earlier, bring the info about the book at the beginning and incorporate it here.

First Round of Pitcharama

The first round of Pitcharama is complete, and now it's the Pitch Your Mate round. If your CP has a MS you would love to see published, head over to the Aussie Owned blog and pitch away! (With their permission of course!)

But, I'm really excited about my picks from the first round. Swing by their blogs to check out their pitches and show you support before the editor's round.

Three Wishes               Smoke & Mirrors              The Making of Nebraska Brown

100 Followers

I just broke 100 followers on the blog! Hooray! Thank you everyone. Since I've done so many giveaways lately I'm kind of out of things to give away! But, I do have "Me Paying it Forward" on the tabs above. I want to help those who are going through the writing/query process to help them get signed and published. I've also started reviewing between edits and CP things. So to celebrate reaching 100 followers, I'd like to critique your query or read your book.

P.S. Pitcharama starts soon with Aussie Owned and Read, so I'd really love to help anyone interested in entering!

Pitcharama! Hosted by Aussie Owned and Read

Looking for a pitching opportunity? Head over to Aussie Owned and Read and follow the blog and twitter account for more details and updates! We'd love to have you join in! Also, if you would like a pitch/query critique in preparation for the event, click on "Me Paying it Forward" for details on getting one from me. But, if you want to enter pitcharama, to keep it fair, don't share any personal details with me. :-D

Join the Aussie Owned Team for Pitcharama—a pitch contest with eight publishers. Eight! The good news, you’ll have not one but two chances to make it into the editor round. Either by the more traditional pitch or by the special Pitch Your Mate round.

The details;

June 14: Pitcharama first round opens

June 20: Pitch Your Mate round

June 25: Announcement of 30 through to the editor round

June 28: Editor Round!

Until then catch us on  the #pitcharama twitter hash tag.